Thursday, January 19, 2006


Patriots Excuses

Last and Ten Patriots Excuses
10. Denver didn't pay the proper respect.
9. Somebody unplugged the Diet Pepsi machine.
8. Distracted by the nacho cheese in Plummer's beard.
7. Tom Brady lent O.J. his five layers of protection.
6. Didn't want to give another ring to Vladimir Putin.
5. Nobody willing to have a stroke to inspire the team.
4. Broncos took away the Patriots top play—the drop kick
3. How can you prepare for a football game in between rehearsals for your latest commercial?
2. Jake Plummer dated Tom Brady’s sister, Marcia, and stole the Patriots playbook.
1. No enforcement of the Tuck Rule.

And to show that we don't play favorites and are equal opportunity haters:

Last and Ten Peyton Manning Excuses
10. I said some mean things to Kenny. Then he said some mean things. And you know ... it was just hard to concentrate.
9. Daddy didn't have any advice on how to deal with the playoffs.
8. Eli gave me too much advice.
7. Edgerrin James is no O.J.
6. The Steelers were trying to sack me. ME! I'm Peyton 'Freaking' Manning.
5. I really have no idea what I'm gesturing at up at the line of scrimmage.
4. Hey, it's not like I'm Tee Martin.
3. I wanted to make sure that I was rested up for the 2006 season opener.
2. The biggest breakdown in protection was when I was conceived.
1. Our kicker was drunk, and an idiot.

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