Wednesday, September 27, 2006

 

Last and Ten Reasons of the T.O. "Incident:"

10. He hates your fantasy team.
9. Tired of Barbaro getting all of the “near-death” coverage.
8. Jealous that Donovan McNabb took Dante Stallworth for a Pat’s cheesesteak last year.
7. The self-inflicting dose was given by Columbian drug dealers.
6. Saw Nicollette Sheridan’s bare breast as a member of the Eagles, now he only gets to see Bill Parcell’s naked rack.
5. If it looks like a suicide attempt, walks like a suicide attempt and talks like a suicide attempt…
4. Coming back from just a broken leg is so 2004.
3. Beats practicing with Drew Bledsoe.
2. At least nobody has talked about how much he has sucked for the Cowboys this year.
1. ESPN reported it as a suicide attempt; T.O. claims he “just changed his mind about living.”

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

 

Last and Ten Things That Should Be Your Demise Before a Sting Ray

10. Being a member of the Chargers and getting pulled over by an off-duty cop
9. Riding your motorcycle without a helmet
8. Agreeing to being lowered down by a pulley before your WWF match
7. Returning sunglasses that were left at the restaurant where you work
6. Attending a European soccer match
5. Naming your two sons, Lyle and Erik
4. Sharing an outfield with Johnny Damon, Aaron Rowand or Mike Cameron
3. Running into Ray Lewis at a Super Bowl party
2. Becoming Ray Caruth’s baby’s moma
1. Residing and driving in the same town as Leonard Little


-Rob in Tampa

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