10. Have you seen Bill Parcells in short-shorts? You’d sleep in too.
9. I'm a Trojan, I don't wear one.
8. Taking practice advice from Allen Iverson, not a good idea.
7. O.J. will be helping me find the real father.
6. Don't need to practice running after Drew Bledsoe's overthrows.
5. Taking fatherhood advice from Shawn Kemp, not a good idea.
4. Somebody had put a padlock on my exercise bike.
3.It could have been worse, it could have been Brenda Warner
2. Harassing prank calls from Donovan McNabb kept me up all night.
1. Who knew that being late was such a bad thing.

Rejected:
Gives new meaning to the term, "Ballroom Dancing."
Is it an NCAA violation if Leinart's dad pays for the whole thing?
Don't need to practice, I get in plenty of work in my driveway.
Paul Lo Duca bet me that I wouldn't come in late/get Brynn pregnant.